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Writer's pictureKemal Onor

A response to Dating

Continuing down the rabbit hole that is dating; I came across an article “Why Dating is so Hard for those of us want something real”. I often try and read these articles with a grain of salt. Taking into account the mental state that someone might have to type the search into their search engine. Maybe after another unsuccessful date? I can say, I’ve done just this thing on several occasions. Usually, when looking for articles of this nature, we are looking for confirmation.

She ghosted us, because that’s the way dating is so difficult today. While I will not try to cover my own bitterness today's dating, I’ve come to find such posts offer little comfort in matters changing. What’s even more frustrating are the articles that preach the idea of “How to attract a woman, (or man). Perhaps, it is just my ego, but I typically find myself thinking yes, I have most of the qualities toted as being most attractive to the opposite sex.

What these catchy listicles of top tens or four key things every guy or woman wants always seem to miss for me is a solution. At the end of the day feeling confirmed in your hatred for the difficulties of dating or that you are attractive means absolutely nothing. (What a bold statement) Relax. I will explain myself, dating is frustrating sure, does it change anything to have reasons why it is so awful? Does it make the premise of dating any better to know it is going to be so frustrated? Excuse me, while I complain about the weather and shake my fist at the sky.

Here’s the other shocking fact that dating articles and attraction specialist seem to miss, there is no one key to every person’s heart. If we think about in terms of book publications there are many, many books in the libraries. Each book has its own merits and had to appeal to at least one person for it to get in print. So it is with dating one person might like the fact that you are confident and well dressed, but another might find it a turn off. I know there are books that I will never read because they do not appeal to me, just like how I know there are people I will never date because I don’t appeal to them, or they don’t appeal to me.

I find there are pieces of information I agree with and pieces I don’t. One of the listed reasons in the article named above gives is “No one wants to get serious while they’re still young”. Maybe it’s just my select group of friends on Facebook, but my feed completely opposes this idea. Between wedding, engagement, and yes pre-baby photos and baby photos the idea that people are no wanting to get serious makes me scratch my head. Looking at the data that is my Facebook feed one could easily conclude that I am one of the last without a partner.

Is there a solution in sight? Will dating ever change back to something enjoyable, will there ever be a true human connection to be found on the mind-numbing dating sites? Maybe there is, and maybe there isn’t. In the meanwhile, I feel a great deal of satisfaction in knowing I can always read another book.

I will include a link to the article if you are interested in giving it a read.

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